Charles Pogue
I heard a wonderful sermon one day this past week on the importance of one choosing the right mate for marriage. It all comes down, as the brother stated clearly, choose one for your mate who is a Christian. I would like to add a thought to that. It is possible for one to be deceived by the one he or she has chosen. For instance, there is the case when a person who is a member of the church sets their sights on one who is a faithful member. They accomplish their goal of winning the faithful person as their mate, but over time what they are themselves (a deceiver or hypocrite) shows through.
Perhaps they were a hypocrite all along. Hide the real person is what hypocrites sometimes do. When such a thing happens the pain and agony heaved upon the truly faithful person can be almost unbearable.
What does one do if he or she chooses such a mate, and one day the real deceiver begins to show through? There is no question that at times the pain and agony climb to an almost unbearable height, yet if the faithful mate keeps his or her eye on heaven and wants their mate along with them to inherit eternal life, three things come to mind as to what this partner can and must do.
Be faithful yourself. Yes, be faithful to the mate, but more importantly, be faithful to the Lord. Paul wrote in Romans 8:35-39 he was persuaded nothing can separate one from the love of God. He further declared we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. God’s love is always there available, even in such a marriage as the one we are considering here. Jesus warned a man’s foes shall be those of his own house (Matthew 10:36).
The faithful must remain faithful, and that faithfulness includes with patience trying to convince and help his mate to give their heart truly to the Lord. “For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” (I Cor. 7:16). Understand, in some, maybe most of the occasions, which the discussion involves, the unfaithful mate may never have been converted to the Lord at all.
The third thing the mate must do is spent a great deal of time pouring out his heart to the Lord God in prayer. Almost sixty years ago, Country Music artist Ferlin Husky recorded a song written by one Bob Ferguson entitled, Wings of a Dove. part of the lyrics was as follows:
When troubles surround us when evil comes
The body grows weak the spirit grows numb
When these things beset us, He doesn’t forget us
He sounds down His love on the wings of a dove.
Few things we can think of can cause greater difficulty in one’s life than a mate who either was a faithful child of God and went astray or one, as we are writing of here, who deceived a person in order to become their mate, then after the marriage let the hypocrisy show through. When one finds himself the innocent party in either one of those two situations, he, as any Christian must, seek the comfort and solace of God through prayer. when a particular situation arises and the reaction to an occurrence is either to become angry or go to God in prayer, choose the latter! “Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer” (Psalm 4:1). “Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer” (Psalm 39:12).
To those who are young and have not yet exchanged the marriage vows, we would caution you to take your time. Don’t rush into marriage. Be sure you know the one to whom you have given your heart. Make absolutely sure they are totally committed to serving God with all their heart and soul. You are young. If you take the necessary time to know your intended well, the tears time will save can make the years ahead filled with joy, love, and peace as opposed to the pain and agony which can come from an impromptu decision when the pages of the calendar have hardly turned at all.
Early this morning I wrote a poem which led me to put these thoughts down in the form of an article. I hope the agony described in the lines will help even one young person to take his or her time and lead them to be as sure as possible they are giving their lifetime of love to one who is committed to giving theirs not only to them but more importantly to the Lord.
